


Accidental Viral Hit

by Amerna



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Twitter, custom formatting, media, one-night stand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-05 05:06:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15856794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amerna/pseuds/Amerna
Summary: Darcy Lewis gets involuntarily trapped at her one-night stand’s apartment and becomes an accidental viral hit in the process.





	Accidental Viral Hit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Em_Jaye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Em_Jaye/gifts).



> Happy Birthday, Em!
> 
> This is based on a viral story in Germany a few years back. A guy got trapped in his one-night stand's apartment and was hilarious on Twitter about it (especially when he found her entire set of Twilight books and her guitar). I decided to adapt it :D

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

Got trapped in my one-night stand’s apartment when he had to leave for a work emergency. His security system is top notch. I cannot get out.

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

He’s on the fourth floor, i cannot get out. Drums, drums in the deep.

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

For all of you who caught the LOTR reference: i love you right now

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

For those of you who didn’t: Watch the extended editions RIGHT NOW. I might just do the same if i’m here long enough. My one-night stand owns them…

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

Texted him. He said it might take a while. There’s no backup plan. Decided against LOTR. Will do some snooping to pass the time

Jane in London @JaneDoublePhD

@theDissilent did he really have to leave? Or is that his way to avoid the really awkward small talk the next morning?

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

@JaneDoublePhD it really was a work emergency. Not a bad one-night stand. The sex was great

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

@JaneDoublePhD Would’ve gone for an encore performance had it not been for that call…

Jane in London @JaneDoublePhD

@theDissilent Do you need me to send the big guy? He can totally break you out

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

@JaneDoublePhD Thanks, but I think he’d prefer to come home to an undestroyed apartment. I’m good

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

Found his wifi password. Day is saved

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

I’m seriously attracted to his book shelves. Might consider marrying him

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

Jane Austen, GRR Martin, the machinery of war, heroes of the eastern front, dreams from my father… yeah, I can work with that

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

He has a first edition of alice in wonderland. Will definitely marry him

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

Has first editions of the captain america comics. No wonder he has an ultra tight security system in his apartment. These are worth $$$$

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

Ugh, his whole fridge is filled with disgusting protein shakes. Muscle milk, seriously? Wedding cancelled.

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

He has so much food in his apartment. So. Much. Food. At least i will not starve to death

Katie @Katiemaladie

@theDissilent was he ripped at least? He might need those protein shakes for his workout

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

@Katiemaladie yeah, he was ripped, and our sex was very… flexible, but still, protein shakes = ewwwwwww

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

Taking a shower now, will be back in a bit!

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

Shower was great! excellent water pressure

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

Stole one of his tooth brushes and put it next to his. that makes us practically married right? This on and off relationship thing is exhausting

Darcy, Daughter of Mark @theDissilent

Let’s do more exploring

Darcy, Daughter of Mark @theDissilent

Checked out his netflix queue, nothing special

Darcy, Daughter of Mark @theDissilent

He has HBO. Now i know where i’m gonna invite myself over for game of thrones night

Darcy, Daughter of Mark @theDissilent

No pictures of friends or family in the apartment. Creepy. Might be in patrick bateman’s apartment.

Ella B. @EllaBelle

@theDissilent Is he a wall street investment banker?

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

@EllaBelle No, i don’t think so. Don’t know what he does for work. But bankers don’t have emergencies right?

Ella B. @EllaBelle

@theDissilent Check out his closet just to be safe

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

@EllaBelle Content of his wardrobe was weird *scratches head* inconclusive

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

he might be part time hipster. Or lumberjack. Also probably owns a motorcycle. Doesn’t seem to be a banker though, not enough suits and ties

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

Did have a nice three piece Gucci (!) suit that probably cost more than what i pay for rent in half a year

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

he definitely has more money than i do

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

didn’t pack my charger and if i cannot find one at his place, this update might be over soon

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

@JaneDoublePhD please only start worrying about me when you haven’t heard from me by tomorrow. Am doing good so far

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

HOLY SHIT I WAS GONE FOR BARELY AN HOUR AND MY TWITTER EXPLODED. WHAT HAPPENED?

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

@TimeLordTom what do you mean “this went viral”? who did this?

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

@Mic thanks for the mention! am doing great. trying to adjust to sudden fame

Dave Sugar @DaaaaaaaaaaveS

@theDissilent show us some pics! Videos!

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

@DaaaaaaaaaaveS not gonna happen, protecting my and his privacy

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

Looked through all of his drawers by now. pretty boring

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

@all my new followers: any suggestions on how i might want to screw up his Netflix suggestions?

Angelika @AngelikaRMV

@theDissilent  
Melancholia  
In the basement  
3 Headed Shark Attack  
Bring Me The Head Of The Machine Gun Woman  


Angelika @AngelikaRMV

@theDissilent  
The Conspiracy  
The Loft  
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World  
The fly  
A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night  
Blackfish  


Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

@AngelikaRMV Done done Donezel Washington. Am going to rearrange his kitchen stuff to screw with his mind a little. I think he deserves that

QQQQQ @QQQQ

@theDissilent move all his furniture 5 inches to one site

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

@QQQQ not gonna happen, i’m not the hulk

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

Checked out this other room which i thought was a 2nd bedroom or an office. It’s an art studio. WEDDING BACK ON

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

Am considering adopting a kitten for him. Am checking out local shelters online. Am taking naming suggestions!

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

Took another shower, decided to wash my clothes in his washer. Am now lounging on his couch in his boxers and shirt

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

Super comfy. Will definitely steal it (we are practically married!)

Jane in London @JaneDoublePhD

@theDissilent how are you gonna steal his couch?

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

@JaneDoublePhD the pants and the shirt, not the couch. am still not the hulk

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

@JaneDoublePhD Also: GO TO BED

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

He has an old school record player. Am listening to an original pressing of Gloria Gaynor right now. This is a religious experience

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

Was there just a sound coming from the roof?

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

Nothing. Must have imagined it. Dance party!

~*~

Steve dragged his feet up the last flight stairs to his apartment and slowly keyed in the security code for his door. He was exhausted. He was so thankful that Clint had flown him home and that he hadn’t stopped by at SHIELD, where he would probably have spent another two hours in debrief. He didn’t feel up for that today. He would do all his paperwork tomorrow. Now he just wanted a shower, a hot meal, and sleep.

He opened the door slowly and was greeted by music and off-key singing. For a moment he went into an automatic defense mode at the thought of some intruder being in his apartment but then he remembered. It was Darcy, the woman he had met at a bar yesterday night while out with Natasha. Darcy, the woman who he had spent the night with. Darcy, the woman he had accidentally trapped in his apartment.

She had texted him in the morning while he was on the plane, telling him about her predicament and Steve had wanted to kick himself because in his rush to get to SHIELD he hadn’t thought of that at all. He had promised to return home as fast as possible, but the supposedly ordinary hostage situation in Costa Rica had turned out to be a bit of a clusterfuck and at some point, while making his way through the mud and the rain in the Costa Rican jungle while dodging bullets from a local rebel movement, he had forgotten all about her.

Shit.

He walked slowly into his living room, trying not to scare her. He found her dancing and singing along to one of his records playing in the background.

She whirled around and stopped mid-motion when she noticed his presence. She stared at him, took in his dirty hair, his soot-stained face, his bloody, half-destroyed uniform, the mud on his boots and the shield on his back.

Steve didn’t know what to say and just grimaced awkwardly.

“Shit,” she breathed, looking at him wide-eyed. “Please tell me that your work-related emergency this morning was the Captain America lookalike contest.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Shit.” She took a deep breath. “So your last name is Rogers?”

“It is,” he confirmed.

“No way.”

They stared at each other entirely too long, the discomfort increasing with every second, then her phone started vibrating wildly in her hand.

“They want to know if I’m still alive,” Darcy explained.

He frowned at her, confused. “Who?”

“My followers. I’m kind of Twitter famous at the moment.”

“Oh, okay.” Steve wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the details about it.

“I tweeted about this. I didn’t mention you by name or anything,” she added hastily. “Just that I was trapped in your apartment and that you were a stellar one-night stand. Because you were, 10 out of 10, would recommend.”

“…Thanks.” He rubbed his tired eyes. “Are you wearing one of my shirts?”

She blushed at that. “My stuff is in your dryer and should be done any minute now. Didn’t want to return in yesterday’s clothing. I thought I might as well take advantage of… this.” She made an all-encompassing motion with her hands.

“Oh, yeah, understood. Can’t wait to get out of this stuff too.” He gestured down at his dirty, ruined uniform.

Silence stretched between them again, they just stood in Steve’s living room, looking at each other. Finally, there was the unmistakable beep of his dryer and Darcy let out a sigh of relief.

“I’m just… gonna… get my stuff and leave,” she said awkwardly. “I need five minutes tops. I’m really sorry for this.”

That shook Steve out of his stupor. “Not your fault,” he disagreed immediately. “No rush, please, I screwed up big time.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure that you went out to save the world or something, so… I understand that you really didn’t think about your sleeping bar hook-up.”

“I didn’t…” Steve sighed deeply. “I don’t do this often,” he explained lamely. “Almost never as a matter of fact. So I didn’t think about it, sorry. I’m very sorry. I hope I didn’t keep you from anything important?”

“Nah,” she shrugged casually. “Just… studying and writing papers etc. And like I said: it made me Twitter famous.”

“You’re a student?”

“Political science. That’s why I’m in DC.”

He nodded in understanding and they were silent again.

“Listen,” Darcy finally said. “That was enough small talk. I’m just gonna get my stuff and leave. Seriously, you go… recuperate or whatever you do after a super classified high-profile mission. You certainly look like you need it.”

She disappeared into his bedroom and came back three minutes later, fully dressed and ready to go. Steve was still standing in the middle of his living room, looking and feeling like a complete idiot. Darcy was nice, had been nice. He had enjoyed the night with her and had considered asking her out the next morning – had there not been the sudden order from SHIELD.

She stopped next to him, stood up on her tiptoes and gave him a kiss on his cheek. “Thanks for a great night and a fun day in your apartment. No regrets. And trust me, I won’t tell anybody about this. Also, you should get a cat.”

She took a step towards the door, but Steve put a hand on her arm to stop her.

“Wait,” he said. “Do you mind staying for a few more minutes? I’d like to talk to you, get to know you. After my shower, when I feel a little more human again.”

She arched an eyebrow at him. “Seriously, it’s all good. You look like you might fall asleep on your feet and I don’t want to know what happens to your security system when you’re basically dead to the world. You were a fantastic lay, but I’m not gonna get trapped here again. I have to go to work and attend classes tomorrow,” she joked.

Steve looked at her for a moment. He wasn’t sure if she was giving him a polite brush-off because she simply wasn’t into him or because the whole situation was too awkward for her. He took a deep breath and decided to go for one more try.

“Okay, I understand. And I really don’t want to be the guy who doesn’t take no for an answer, but can I take you out to dinner some time?”

She stared at him in genuine surprise for a moment before a slow smile began spreading across her face.

~*~

Darcy, Daughter of Mark  @theDissilent

He returned. We’ll go out on a date tomorrow. Am still considering marrying him ;) #DarcyOut


End file.
